From the Archives: Top 10 Reasons Why a Three Year Old Cannot Go To Sleep...

Scene: doorway of young child's room, barricaded with a pressure gate

#10:"I'm not sleepy."
#9: "I need some water by my bed."
#8: "I'm lonely."
#7. "I want to be out there with you."
#6: I need you to put me back in my bed."
#5: "I have to use the potty.  I have to GO!!!"
#4: "I'm scared about something."
       "What?"
       "Umm....something."
#3: "There's a dragon in my room."
#2: "Your computer is distracting me."

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST-

#1:"I can't find my bed."

From the Archives: "If You Ask a Foolish Question..."

Scene: bathroom

Mommy: Celia, why is there lipstick all over the trashcan?

Kid: Because I put it there.

Spooked in October

Scene: Inside car, driving home from Nana and Grandpa's

Kid: Daddy, in Christmas Carol, what's the name of the green ghost you hang around with? 

Actor Dad: The green ghost?

Kid: You know, the one that wears green.

Actor Dad: Oh, that's the Ghost of Christmas Present.  Also known as Seth.

Kid: What's the name of the scary ghost with the big arm?

Actor Dad: That's the Ghost of Christmas Future.

Kid: What should his name be?  It should be something really spooky and scary.

Actor Dad: Mitt.