From the archives: Overheard in the Bathroom

"Daddy, can I put this lipstick on you?"
"No thank you, Honey."
"Please Daddy?"
"No, Sweetie."
"Daddy, I want to put this lipstick on you."
"Celia, daddys don't wear lipstick, well, most daddys anyway."
"Please Daddy?"
"No, Celia."
"Please, please?"
"I said no."
"Please can I put this lipstick on you?"
"Celia, I said NO.  I don't care for any!"
"Let me put this lipstick on you."
"CELIA, I DON'T WANT ANY...oh all right."

From the Archives: Trouble in Paradise

Trouble in Paradise

Scene: Condo in Kauaii

Mom: (rising from bed, where she has been snuggling with 4 year old)  OMG!!!!!!!!!!!  What is this on my bottom??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 year old: (moving in for a closer look) That silly putty really sticks!

Grown ups

Scene: kitchen

6 1/2 year old: (twirling through kitchen in purple spangly gown and adult-sized gold pumps)
"I love my high heels!  I love, love, love them!!!!"

PC Mom: How do they make you feel?

6 1/2 year old: Like a grown-up!  (more twirling, then stops, arms up for emphasis) Like, like I'm SEVEN!!!!

sales etiquette

Scene: bathroom

Kid (in bath): Who wants to buy some water?  Who wants to buy some water?  Oh hi (offering cup), would you like to buy some water?

Mom: Of course.

pause

Kid: Pretend I'm not naked.

Mom: Okay.

Kid: Or sitting in a tub full of water.

Mom: Right.